Blinded Heart
by Lady Saotome
Summary: This story is my attempt to fill in the blanks of what happened with Gus Pike after he was "lost at sea".


Note: Road to Avonlea is a Canadian show based on the books by L.M.Montgomery that can be seen on the Disney Channel. This story involves Gus Pike. Gus was a vagrant boy who was helped by the King family. He was educated, given a job, and had taken an acceptable place in society. He became a sailor while Felicity King, his fiancee, attended Medical College. A year later, Felicity received the news that Gus' ship, Maid of Kallay, had sunk off the coast of North Carolina. All hands were lost...

The night sky was rags of midnight blue, while lightning ripped across the horizon. On board a small ship tipped a kilter in the water, a young man stood. His back to the chaos around him, his eyes focused on the table before him. His hand jumped over the telegraph-tapper, sending his distress call over the sea to whatever hope might lie in the distance beyond.

"Come on!" Someone yelled from portside. "Let's go!"

The young man's hand did not falter as he called over his shoulder, "You go. I'm stayin'," his voice laced with a thick Irish accent.

"But"

"Go!" The force of the word seemed to deflate the young man's frame as he settled to his task all the more grimly.

Moments passed... the sound of the pulleys, lowering the last lifeboat, eventually stopped and the young man was alone. The ship began to list as its hold filled with water, the timbers too stressed to stand the wind's and water's incessant beating. Still the young man went on, oblivious to the destruction around him, to the sound of sails flapping uncontrollably and the groans coming from the strained masts.

Suddenly an explosion rocked the boat, tearing apart the pieces still clinging together. The young man's last conscious thought was that the boiler must have blown before he was thrown into the icy waters of the sea.

Cold, wet, heavy. He struggled frantically lungs about to burst, eyes burning. Swimming hard, reaching for the surface. Salt water filling his mouth, his nose, his throat. Slowly he sank toward the bottom, legs thrashing desperately.

Gus wrenched up in his bed, his breath coming in deep gasps that shook his worn body; his hair clung to his head, damp with sweat. His eyes danced about the room as he waited for his sight to focus. Darkness. He nearly panicked before remembering. Gus forced himself to leaned back on his elbows, willing his breath to even.

_ It was a dream I didn't drown I'm alive._ Thoughts raced through his head but none could cover the one phrase that stood out in his mind. _I'm blind...and they all died._

He flopped back onto his pillow and curled himself into a tight ball. Gus struggled to control himself, refusing to cry, his heartache feeling like a very real pain. He closed his eyes tight against the tears and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly he forced his muscles to relax. He drifted off to sleep, taking refuge where his eyesight among other problems wouldn't matter.

Jimmy strode up the steps of the Marine Mission Hospital. As he entered the building a plump woman hurried toward him. Her clean white apron was a stark contrast to her dusty blue dress and dark brown skin.

"You Jimmy?"

At his nod she turned and motioned for him to follow her down the hall.

"You're just in time. I was 'bout to go see him. The doctor should be through by now."

Jimmy had to shorten his pace to match the lumbering woman's. He looked sideways at Megget Lydie between scans down the hall. "How is he?"

"We was real worried fer awhile. Odelia had to nurse him for days. But he's finally gettin' better."

"And how's he been taking it? His sight I mean."

"We can't get him to say nothin' 'bout it." Megget shook her head worriedly. "He's upset that only six made it. And upset with bein' blind. I'm afraid..." Her voice faltered and stopped.

Jimmy tipped his head to the side, his curiosity peeked. "Of what?"

"That's just it I don't know." Megget stopped outside the wardroom door and gazed up at Jimmy's young face. "You're his friend. Try to cheer him up some."

"I'll try." Jimmy squared his shoulders and stepped into the room.

A doctor stood by the bed in the left corner, peering intently into the occupant's eyes. When he heard the door open, he lowered his hands from Gus' face and turned to greet the visitor.

Gus didn't move. He lay stiffly on the white sheets and continued to stare at the wall across from him.

Jimmy walked over to stand by the bed, his hands stuffed into his pockets. "Hello, Gus."

Gus slowly turned his head and fixed his eyes over Jimmy's shoulder. Jimmy could feel Megget Lydie watching from the corner where she stood with the doctor; he swallowed and forged on. "So, are you ready to leave this place?"

"An' go where?" Gus' accent was unusually strong although his expression didn't change.

Jimmy pulled a small chair up to the bed before dropping his youthful frame down to sit. "Back home! Don't forget, you were reported lost along with the ship."

"I ain't goin' back to Avonlea." Gus snapped his jaw shut, his expression daring anyone to contradict him.

"But what about Felicity? She thinks you're dead!"

Gus unconsciously turned his head away from Jimmy and looked toward the window. He watched the darkness brighten to a light fuzz. "That's the way it should be." He raised his voice and spoke, preventing Jimmy from commenting on his statement.

"Mrs. Lydie?"

Megget glanced at the doctor who nodded his head in encouragement. "Go ahead."

Megget stepped to the side of the bed. "Here I be, Gus."

"Go get Odelia, please."

With a confused glance over her shoulder, Megget Lydie left the room in search of her granddaughter.

The doctor stepped forward. "Go home, Gus. Don't give in to your blindness. Don't make a decision you'll regret."

Gus continued to examine the fuzzy bit of light. "I won't."

They remained in silence for the few moments it took for Megget to return with Odelia.

"All right, Gus. She's here." Jimmy folded his arms across his chest and leaned forward slightly.

Gus shut his eyes. "I want all o' you to promise never to tell anyone I'm alive."

Jimmy started. Around the bed similar reactions took place.

Odelia spoke for the first time. "Gus, you can't keep it a secret. It'd be wrong not to let anyone know."

Gus opened his eyes, his hands wrapped into fists by his side. "It would be wrong to go back and ruin their lives. Promise me."

Jimmy cleared his throat. "You saved my life, Gus. I..." His voice faltered for a moment, then picked up strength. "I swear it."

The doctor and Megget also promised, albeit reluctantly. Odelia shook her head sharply.

Gus, unable to see her movements, cocked his head. "Odelia?"

She opened her mouth to refuse, but the wrong words came out. "I promise."

Gus' fists relaxed. "Good."

Odelia knelt in the cool dirt of the vegetable garden and let her fingers soak up the richness. She patted the soil around a sprouting carrot and examined the wilting leaf of a young cabbage. Leaning back, she gazed down the tidy row. _They're growin' fast. Pretty soon we'll be eating salads fer supper. _Her eyes spotted a small weed hiding behind the tomato plant. _Oh, no ya don't!_ Her hand nimbly plucked the loner and tossed it onto her lap with its partners.

" 'Delia! Look et the sky! Quick!" A grubby hand, attached to her little brother, tugged on Odelia's sleeve.

Odelia glanced at the clouds then back again for a better look. "Thet sure is a pretty sunset, Benjamin." She watched the sun sink behind the trees, the sight drawing her mind to one who could not see the sunset.

It had been nearly a year since the sinking of Gus' ship. When he'd been well enough to leave the hospital Megget Lydie had asked him to come stay with them. And though he did his share, weaving baskets to sell at the wharf, he just withdrew further into himself every day. Benjamin was the only person allowed through the wall Gus had built and even that was rare.

Odelia turned her head away from the dying light and looked at the small cabin she called home_. If only Gus would stop pretending he don't care an' go back to where he really needs to go_.

Gus grasped a piece of straw in one hand and carefully guided the tip behind another piece. He examined the finished basket with his fingers. _That's good. The pieces are snug and together._

Cautiously, he set the basket down to his left. He lifted his face toward the window, a pale fuzz lighting the darkness around him. _What she's doing right now? Andrew Pettibone always was jealous, maybe... _Gus blinked, the light faded and returned. Stifling the sigh that struggled to free itself, he reached for another piece of straw_. One more and I'll be done for today._

Megget Lydie lifted the heavy iron pot off its hook over the fire and set it on a flat stone. "Odelia, go get Gus. Supper's ready."

Odelia stood up from where she'd been weeding the vegetable garden and brushed the dirt off her dress. With a quick nod at her grandmother, she walked into the clapboard cabin and opened the door to Gus' room.

"Ms. Lydie?"

Gus sat on a stool; back to the door, face to the window. Same as he always sat.

"No, Gus. It's me. Are ya ready fer supper?"

Odelia waited while Gus laid the basket with the others and stood up. She put his cane in his hands and led the way out of the room.

"You did what?" Gus' tone did not change though his knuckles whitened painfully, his fists were clenched so tight.

Odelia looked away from his sightless eyes. "I called her," she repeated.

"And?" Megget Lydie prompted from the table where she was kneading dough.

Seating herself on a stool, Odelia stared at her hands. "I told her I had a patient thet needed her but the line got disconnected. "

_ She knows..._ His face flushed a pasty pink.

Odelia flashed a glance in her grandmother's direction but immediately turned back to the young man's non-expression.

Megget wiped her floury hands on her apron. "So, you're sayin' she might not'of really heard?"

Odelia nodded. "The connection was so bad I could hardly hear her. An' I didn't say all that much."

Gus drew a shuddering breath. "You said enough." He reached for his cane and stood. "If you ever try again, Odelia..." He let his sentence hang.

Odelia spoke slowly. "I won't."

"You make sure you keep that promise, child," Megget added from her place at the table.

"I will, Granny."

Odelia's answer rang in Gus' ears. He walked to his room and shut the door. Leaning against it, he dropped his cane and brought his hands to his face. He covered his ears, blocking out the sounds from outside. _What if she did hear?_

Gus carefully led a piece of straw into its place on the basket, his thoughts far from the task at hand. If that telephone connection had been any better they might have found out! But it had been over a week and no word. The fear was beginning to dissipate.

Gus allowed himself a small sigh. His secret was safe.

Then Gus' mind went to the previous night and a hint of a smile crossed his face. Jimmy had come to visit while his ship was in port; he'd hurt his hand somehow. Maybe that's why he was a bit stiff last night. He was probably embarrassed about the way Megget and Odelia fussed over him. Gus shook his head at the memory.

The door slowly creaked open behind him and Gus straightened. "Ms. Lydie you back from practice?"

No one answered him although he could hear someone breathing. Gus turned away from the window and stood. Must be Benjamin playing games. "Ms. Lydie?" he asked, willing to play along, a faint smile decorating his face.

No giggles greeted his question, just silence and light breathing. Gus felt a portentous chill shake his bones. "Who's there?"

Another instant of silence. A small gasp came to his ears. Then a voice spoke, one he'd know anywhere. "Gus it's it's Felicity..."

The End


End file.
